It wasn't until recently that i realised it. It was hard to accept it. But i had to after seeing it for the past 1 year. It never occurred to me how someone could change so much. To become so selfish, losing moral values and meaning in life. Priorities and focus are still wrong ever since then. They were wrong then, they are wrong now. Sometimes i wonder if it is worth it. Perhaps it doesn't pay to be kind. I try not to be affected but i've always been. Every single day. The thought of it disgusts me and i am utterly disappointed. You've made me see how someone can change so much. Perhaps i thought wrongly of you and this is your native state. Then blame me. I'll hang on till the day i've returned ur kindness and when that day comes, i'll be a stranger unless a miracle happens. Miracles do happen but for now, i'll stick to it.

It was an evening filled with laughter as med and i went out w her fav group for dinner. We went to Pariis international buffet at marina square which i felt could have been better. Somehow, they had shifted from taka; that was the place where i had brought jon, don and kel for lunch on my 21st birthday.

The price was worth for the type of food available. But the variety wasn't a lot. But anyway, the little girl wanted to eat her raw oyster and salmon thats why we went there. The thought of eating salmon really makes me wanna vomit now, because the previous time we had raw salmon, i ate so much of it. But its healthy! its a trade off i guess.

Speaking of trade off, the economy is really getting bad. I'm gonna be hit when i graduate too. Judging from the number of graduates from my course during my year, it may be hard to find a job. Theres damn too many china students around. They really should cut down and provide the locals with jobs first. Can't figure out what the government is thinking. The selection pressure is biased i would say. Only the toughest locals will survive. So, do or die. Nobody will pick u up. Either you do your best and get somewhere, or you do good and dont get anywhere. Ur choice....

And it really starts off with the upbringing process just like what darling and i had talked about. Many dont realise that their character and actions now, depends a lot on how they were brought up. The environment they grew up in. I've said that upteem times to darling and now she finally agrees with me (not that she disagreed).

Its a pity for some but a blessing in disguise for others.

So i will stop here and perhaps give a lecture another day.


i love you darling!

Labels: dont make me hate you, you and you